Day 15 - Rest
Day off. Slept in ‘til 8:30. Whew. Last night was a night at the Neon Moon -- the happening spot in Liberal, KS. I hung out ‘til midnight for the promise of hip hop. It came -- even if it was pretty commercial stuff. I had about 15 minutes of dancing in me before I was done.
Had a dip in the pool/hot tub this morning. Nice. It was weird getting up and not having my stuff (uniform, etc.) all laid out and ready to go. A mild panic set over me as I thought I might be dragging the team down time-wise. Turned out it was a waffle morning (the continental breakfast here at the Super 8 is not bad!).
Plans to see War of the Worlds today. It’ll be great to go to a theater and kick back. The theater is very, very magical to me.
Day 16
104 miles
We get up early (4AM) to get out by 5 AM. This always seems to be a wee bit ambitious as for one reason or another it takes one person (or more) about 90 minutes rather than 60. This was my morning. My alarm didn’t go off (turns out I set it for 5 rather than 4 -- seriously, the dog ate my homework). I also had a few last minute emails that had to get out and the packing I planned on doing the night before didn’t get done. How’d that not happen?
I get outside and the wind is blowing pretty hard. All around us -- though in the distance -- lightning sizzles in the sky. Gary jokes about it. At least there’s no thunder he says. Geoff says it’s there, but Gary can’t hear it because of the generator from the RV. I’m not feeling so easy about this ride. After all, this is the home of Dorothy...
We start to ride and the wind picks up significantly. It’s a crosswind and Gary says he thinks the storm will blow right by us. I say there’s big weather in front of us -- indicated by the lightning blasting directly east (the direction we’re headed). No one says definitively what they think we should do. Obviously, we’d all like to ride (it’s something we’ve all become very excited about). The lightning strikes get closer. We contact Chris to tell him to stay close in case the lightning strikes get closer.
We ride for about five miles. I can almost smell and lightning. The thunder rocks. The rain begins to fall -- it’s not torrential, but it’s soaking. We pull off to the side at a truck weigh station. Chris is not far behind. I take video for about 15 minutes. I think I captured several lightning strikes (hard to know for sure until I see it later).
Everyone’s asleep now in the RV. Noah’s (the local weather alert radio system) mechanical weather forecast continues over the radio. It’s eerie.The thunder rocks, the lightning strikes, the rain falls. We’re going to be here for a bit. Noah says this should clear by noon. I should get some more sleep. I’m not tired just yet. I would very much like to ride -- just not in this.
8:00AM
I’ve rested a bit, but not slept (the bed and couches are spoken for). I’ve tried the chair up front and it’s okay, but I’m concerned about the crick in my neck I’ve developed in 10 minutes of resting that way so I’m back typing. The thunder and lighting have passed. The rain continues. I’m going to give it a minute then see if the guys want to get rolling. Tarps should be the call for the day.
LATER
The storm passed. We rode on. I had very little connection to the road today as my head has been separated from the journey. The problems back at home -- some communication errors, some financial difficulties, etc. -- have led me to a very dark place in my head. I have this feeling that the world (and this is Martyrtown, everyone off!) is conspiring against me.
What’s that about? It’s my perception. It’s not the truth that the universe provides, I know that.
LATER
Spoke with my mom, dad, sister and Annamaria and I have cleared some of my head. It’ll take a little more time to unroot this pain, but that’s okay. I’d rather sit through it now and get it out then continue to have it nag at me. Take the time you will...
We ate at Pizza Hut tonight and got called on it as we are “the Health Awareness Tour” (called on it by an employee of Pizza Hut no less!). She was right. I love pizza. I also know that eating a ton of it is not good for my system. The other guys are responsible for what goes on with them and I won’t begrudge them their choices, even when I disagree with them. I got into it with Chris today for just a bit because in making our protein smoothies, he added non-dairy vanilla creamer because he says it make it taste better and improves the consistency. “Shit tastes good” he said with a laugh and Geoff laughed with him and toasted the proclomation with the drink. I have a big problem with that thought process because I think that’s how a lot of people get in to trouble -- living at the mercy/desires of their taste buds. Fast food tastes great -- that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to eat it. By and large, people don’t know how good organic food tastes because they’ve trained their taste buds (or unknowingly had them trained by additives in their food) to like something else. Taste buds ARE trainable -- 100%. You can learn to like foods that you previously thought were “gross”. And if that food serves your highest good (health), then doesn’t it make sense to train (just like you would physically -- it hurts at first and you can’t do much or go too fast) to eat food that resonates with your bodies highest good?
At any rate, Pizza Hut worked out well for me because they had a decent salad bar. I had a plate of raw veggies with each slice and that seemed like a fair tradeoff.
We watched “Bruce Almighty” and that was really my saving grace. Though I was in and out of sleep, being as tired as I was, it was a very resonant movie for me in watching his struggles and feeling like the world, or in his case, God, was conspiring against him. That’s a very difficult place to come from. It colors the world in a dark way and makes things, people and situations look a lot worse than they are.
There was also the gift of laughter in there. Sometimes I forget to laugh, crazy as it sounds. I spent a great portion of my life being clownish and getting lots of laughs at the expense of others and myself just for the approval. I have made a concerted effort in the last few years to allow more silence and press less for approval, which has sometimes led people to think there’s something wrong with me (as they are used to “crazy Bob”). That’s okay. I have the goofy side of me that I love to express when the time is right. Sometimes I need to remind myself of the great healing power it offers.
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